Notice How Far You've Come by Holly Gage
Updated: Oct 24
A Burn Survivor Wellness Retreat Designed to Enhance Post Traumatic Growth Experiences and Notice How Far Everyone has Come Since Their Burn Accident
Sometimes we become so focused on where we still want to go that we forget to stop and look at how far we've already come. That was one of the greatest gifts of our Burn Survivor Wellness Retreat: using strategic wellness activities to foster growth.
Christopher and I welcomed burn survivors and family members for a weekend of connection, creativity, movement, relaxation, meaningful conversations, and wonderful food. We came together with different experiences and different stories, but we shared something important: a desire to continue healing and discover what lies ahead.
What unfolded was more than a schedule of wellness activities. It was an opportunity to feel understood, try something new, and experience the strength that comes from being surrounded by people who accept you as you are.
And as the weekend progressed, I was reminded that healing can happen in so many different ways.
Healing Through Touch
For burn survivors, pain and tightness can be ongoing reminders of what their bodies have endured. Scars can affect how the skin moves and feels, making gentle, thoughtful bodywork especially meaningful.
Our massage therapist, Staci Louise Smith, offered restorative massages with a slow, deliberate approach designed to relax muscles and calm the nervous system.
Throughout the weekend, participants had an opportunity to release tension, ease discomfort, and receive care. Sometimes, allowing ourselves to relax is harder than we realize, especially when our bodies have been through so much.
Staci's gentle approach made a lasting impression. Everyone seemed to have their own version of the same message:
"I didn't realize how much I needed that." Before long, she had earned the affectionate nickname “Magic Hands.”
In her reflection afterward, Staci shared how deeply the experience affected her, describing the beautiful bond between trauma survivors, even when their experiences are completely different. She came to give massages, but she left with new friendships, wisdom, and a deeper appreciation for the people she met.
A Connection Without Words
Christopher offered Access Bars® Energy Healing, a quiet experience that was very different from the group activities.
Karen Quick, shown here receiving the session, simply rested. During a session, Chris gently touches 32 specific points on the head while the recipient rests. Unlike our group discussions, this experience required very little conversation.
Yet some remarkable moments emerged.
Benefits range from reduced anxiety and depression, less pain or physical tension, greater clarity and mental calmness, improved sleep, and expanded creativity and focus.
There was very little conversation; instead, a kind of non-verbal connection developed between Karen and Chris. While some people became so deeply relaxed they fell asleep, others described seeing dramatic colors. Several moments surprised both Chris and the person receiving the session.
Another person described feeling heat during the experience, while Chris could feel that same warmth through his hands. Often, they didn't talk about it until afterward, only to discover that they had experienced something similar.
Whatever each person experienced, the quiet, non-verbal movement of energy itself seemed to matter. For a little while, there were no problems to solve or explain — just a chance to be still and feel at peace.
Moving Through Emotion
Kate Stufflet, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Chakra Dance instructor, led the group through Chakra Dance & Movement. Chakra Dance combines music and free-flowing movement associated with the body's seven chakras. Participants were encouraged to move in ways that felt natural, allowing themselves to explore emotions, release tension, and reconnect with their bodies.
You could see the difference afterward. People looked lighter, with more laughter, greater openness, and renewed energy filling the room. There was something powerful about taking emotions that can feel stuck inside us and allowing the body to move them.
For some people, healing may begin with words. However, Kate showed us it can begin with movement.
Telling Our Stories Through Art
The Healing Art Mandala Workshop was especially meaningful to me because I had the opportunity to guide participants through a creative process that allowed each person to tell a part of their story.
A mandala can become a personal reflection of where we have been, what we are experiencing now, and what we hope to carry into the future. The process itself can be very therapeutic and meditative.
Burn Survivors chose colors and symbols strategically to convey meaning. Some used symbols from a catalog of familiar symbols used in mandala expression, while others invented their own to represent experiences, emotions, relationships, challenges, or hopes for their healing journeys. There was no right or wrong way to create a mandala. Each one was unique because each person's journey was unique.
As an artist, I was moved to watch people discover what they wanted to express through their work. Sometimes we begin creating without knowing exactly what we need to say, and the meaning becomes clearer along the way.
At the retreat, these mandalas became more than workshop projects. Each was proudly framed and taken home, giving participants a lasting reminder of something meaningful they had chosen to express. I hope that when they see their mandalas in the days and months ahead, they will remember not only the weekend but also the person they were becoming when they created them.
Finding Our Rhythm Together
On Sunday, Mark Seaman led our community drumming circle, bringing everyone together through rhythm, movement, sound, and connection.
The circle gave us a chance to let go of expectations and move to the beat of our hearts on beautifully carved African drums. There was something joyful about making music together and developing our own unique sound as a group. It could only be this dynamic when we all shared the experience.
Meghan shared how much fun she had during the drumming circle. She also recalled 5-month-old Radiance joining in, bopping and tapping the drum. A baby at the retreat? That’s right, a miracle baby that was born to Michael and burn survivor Chassidy Helms was lovingly held and cuddled by all. Holding Radiance while she ate or slept was therapy in itself for me, as she was so calm and angelic.
The playful mood Mark set for us is another thing I loved about the weekend. We created a space where people could participate in their own way, where laughter was welcome, and where joy had room to exist alongside the harder parts of our lives.
Melissa reflected, "I felt wholeheartedly loved and cared for. It was an amazing experience that I truly needed."
Sometimes a small shift in how we feel can help us see the next step more clearly.
Great Food, Conversation, and Care
Of course, no retreat hosted by Christopher would be complete without wonderful food.
Christopher and Domenico Grande prepared meals throughout the weekend, from beautiful breakfasts and lunches to carefully prepared dinners and desserts.
Their work went far beyond putting food on the table. Every meal offered another opportunity to gather, talk, laugh, and get to know one another.
We also made time for group discussions each evening. Christopher and I encouraged everyone to share their experiences, reflect on their healing, and talk about where they hoped to go next. No one was expected to share more than they felt comfortable sharing. The goal was to create a welcoming environment where people could speak honestly, listen without judgment, and learn from one another.
Linda Palmer described the retreat as a time to reflect on who she is, her purpose, and the family that had been created through this experience.
As Katie Baum expressed in her reflection, she was proud of "Notice How Far You've Come" and excited to see how far they could go with each other's support. I couldn't agree more.
For Meghan Waals, who was attending a burn survivor event for the first time, those conversations helped her recognize common ground with other participants and appreciate the wealth of experience and wisdom they had to share.
She later expressed how grateful she was to have been embraced by the group and to have the opportunity to share her own perspective as a burn survivor's daughter and sister. That kind of acceptance matters. It reminds us that we don't have to have identical experiences to understand one another or offer meaningful support.
We Came as Individuals and Left as Family
The workshops were intented to feed the mind, body and soul, with focus on movement, creativity, rhythm, conversation, connection, emotional healing or simply the experience of being cared for my others. Together, they created space for people to experience themselves in ways that went beyond talking about trauma, but also healing from it.
That mattered, because we are not only our stories. We have the ability to experience joy, friendship, and discover something new about ourselves. That's a big part of what Post Traumatic Growth is about.
Chassidy Helms put into words something that many of us felt:
“We are family — not because we share the same blood, but because we've shared pieces of our lives, our pain, our struggles, and our healing.” That sense of family didn't come from everyone having the same story. It came from being willing to listen, care, encourage, and make room for one another.
Post Traumatic Growth Takeaway — Notice How Far You've Come
Pause for a moment and notice how far you have come. Think about who you were when your journey began and who you are today. Perhaps the most meaningful part of the retreat was realizing that none of us arrived there as the same person we were when our burn trauma happened. We had traveled so far.
There had been countless surgeries, rehab treatments, difficult days, milestones, setbacks, fears, accomplishments, laughter, tears, and traumatic moments that brought us together. When we’re in the midst of healing, growth can be difficult to see. We tend to notice what still hurts, what isn’t working, and what we wish were different. But growth isn’t always dramatic. While we may still have a long way to go, that doesn’t erase the distance we've already traveled.
That’s the part I don’t want anyone to forget. We spend so much time thinking about the next step — the next surgery, the next goal, the next challenge, the next thing we need to overcome that we sometimes forget to stop and look behind us. Not to live in the past, but to recognize the strength it took to get here: resilience, fortitude, and hard work.
Take time to consider what you have learned, what you have survived. What you can do now that once seemed utterly impossible, and what you are proud of achieving? You don’t have to be finished healing to recognize your growth, nor do you need to know exactly where you’re going next.
Sometimes, the most important thing you can do is simply pause long enough to appreciate the distance you’ve already traveled, and express gratitude. These reflections can motivate you to keep going, set new goals, and seek new possibilities awaiting you.
Thank you!
We want to thank the many, many people who supported each and every burn survivor who attended. One of our goals was to help the burn survivors heal well and also "Notice How Far You've Come" in their journey. The retreat was a big success! We couldn’t do this without ALL OF YOU!
Kevin Stein Karen Rumple Dutton Moore
Margaret R Schindel Trisha Hackman Clinton Richter
Sherry Viktora Esther Wanderlust Anonymous Donor
Joyce and Richard Warsack Denise Arechiga Anonymous Donor
Paul Powell Bill Morgan Cindy Quesenbery
Theoni Richter Carol Kinnema n Doug Teadermen
Candy M. Aeschbacher Annette Thomas Susan Konter
Jeff Brioli Janell Stephen Megan Baldonado
Jacob Ruggiero Madalynn Suiter Sabrina Impelido
Yvonne Short Hope Limmer Susanne Hale
Tammy Flack Wuest Tanya Hough Kim Homan
Lisa McCafferty Karner Marsha Purpich Thomas Paul Harner
Thomasina Coile Crystal Raye Rosie Blowers Katie Baum Robin Davenport Kim Rudolph Linda Palmer Elora Angelique Garreffa Amy Jakowski
Charlotte Happle Jeannettte Wood
If you would like to help a burn survivor heal and move forward with confidence and pride, consider donating or contributing to HealingPhoenixArts.org.
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